Finnster
04-14-2004, 07:51 AM
Windows Haiku error messages:::
Everything is gone;
Your life's work has been destroyed.
Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?
Yesterday it worked
Toady it is not working
Windows is like that
Windows NT crashed
I am the Blue Screen of Death
No one hears your screams
First snow, then silence
This thousand dollar screen dies
so beautifully
To have no errors
Would be life without meaning
No struggle, no joy
And if men got pregnant:
* Maternity leave would last two years, with full pay
* There would be a cure for stretch marks
* Natural childbirth would become obsolete
* Morning sickness would rank as the nation'sd #1 health problem
* All methods of birth control would be 100% effective
* Children would be kept in the hospital until potty trained
* Men would be eager to talk about commitment
* They would not think that twins were so cute after all
* Sons would have to be home from dates at 10:00 pm. (that day)
* Briefcases would be used as diaper bags
* Paternity suits would be a line of clothing.
* They would stay in bed for the ENTIRE prgnancy
* Retaurants would include pickles and ice cream as the main entrees
* And ( somewhat unfortunately ) women would rule the world.
20 reasons why alcohol should be served at work:
* It's an incentive to show up.
* It reduces stress.
* It leads to more honest communications.
* Reduces complaints about low pay.
* Cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.
* Employees tell management what they think not wht they want to hear.
* Helps on heating costs in the winter
* Encourages car pooling.
* Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you won't care.
* Eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
* Makes fellow employees look good.
* Makes the cafeteria food taste better.
* Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
* Salary negotiaations are a lot more profitable.
* Suddenly, burping during a meeting isn't so emabarrasing.
* Employees wqork later since there is no longer a need to relax at the bar.
* Makes everyone more open with their ideas.
* Everyone agrees the work is better after a couple of drinks.
* Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch breaks.
* Increases the chance of seeing your boss naked.
* Prom,otes foreign relations with the former Soviet Union (vodka!!)
* Janitor's closet will finally have a use.
* Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.
* Sitting on the copy machine will no longer be seen as gross.
* Babbling and mumbling incoherently will be common language.
Everything is gone;
Your life's work has been destroyed.
Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?
Yesterday it worked
Toady it is not working
Windows is like that
Windows NT crashed
I am the Blue Screen of Death
No one hears your screams
First snow, then silence
This thousand dollar screen dies
so beautifully
To have no errors
Would be life without meaning
No struggle, no joy
And if men got pregnant:
* Maternity leave would last two years, with full pay
* There would be a cure for stretch marks
* Natural childbirth would become obsolete
* Morning sickness would rank as the nation'sd #1 health problem
* All methods of birth control would be 100% effective
* Children would be kept in the hospital until potty trained
* Men would be eager to talk about commitment
* They would not think that twins were so cute after all
* Sons would have to be home from dates at 10:00 pm. (that day)
* Briefcases would be used as diaper bags
* Paternity suits would be a line of clothing.
* They would stay in bed for the ENTIRE prgnancy
* Retaurants would include pickles and ice cream as the main entrees
* And ( somewhat unfortunately ) women would rule the world.
20 reasons why alcohol should be served at work:
* It's an incentive to show up.
* It reduces stress.
* It leads to more honest communications.
* Reduces complaints about low pay.
* Cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.
* Employees tell management what they think not wht they want to hear.
* Helps on heating costs in the winter
* Encourages car pooling.
* Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you won't care.
* Eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
* Makes fellow employees look good.
* Makes the cafeteria food taste better.
* Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
* Salary negotiaations are a lot more profitable.
* Suddenly, burping during a meeting isn't so emabarrasing.
* Employees wqork later since there is no longer a need to relax at the bar.
* Makes everyone more open with their ideas.
* Everyone agrees the work is better after a couple of drinks.
* Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch breaks.
* Increases the chance of seeing your boss naked.
* Prom,otes foreign relations with the former Soviet Union (vodka!!)
* Janitor's closet will finally have a use.
* Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.
* Sitting on the copy machine will no longer be seen as gross.
* Babbling and mumbling incoherently will be common language.